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At
just under 40 minutes, Paris Hilton's debut album is definitely
short—and that's a good thing because as soon as it starts,
you'll want it to end.
The
famous-for-being-famous hotel heiress may have been
able to brand herself onto perfume, handbags and even
a mobile video game, but the willingness to exploit
yourself will only get you so far as a recording artist.
Unlike her obvious influence Madonna, Hilton lacks drive
and personality – she's
like a living mannequin of privilege – and
her wafer-thin vocals are all the more excruciating because
she delivers them so flatly.
Perhaps
the heiress is responding to the unremarkable, focus group-tested
tracks gathered for her. The first single, "Stars
are Blind," is
clearly the album's highlight and that's not high praise. A shameless
rip of Blondie's "The Tide is High," the track is workman-like
but nowhere close to being memorable. An attempt at Kelly Clarkson-esque
pop-rock follows ("Screwed" and "Nothing in this
World") but
the production fails to build any momentum. Half-hearted attempts
at dance (the "Time After Time" copy "Heartbeat")
and hip-hop (the limp "Turn it Up") fail to stir.
Paris is a flop in every way. In more ambitious, hungry
hands, this record might have been a respectable first
outing. The production is capable, expensive and studio effects
lift the vocals in the right places. But auto-tune can only correct
pitch and cannot add passion. Frankly,
Hilton sounds so soulless and bored throughout Paris.
She only has herself to blame for its creative emptiness. (Heiress
Records/Warner Bros.)  |
